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Last time I was pregnant, I was a first-time mom in my late 20s, nervous and excited for what was to come. Today, I’m pregnant again at 36, which means I’ve officially entered the world of the so-called “geriatric pregnancy.” (Yes, they really call it that!) When I first saw “advanced maternal age” on my chart and heard the term geriatric pregnancy, I nearly laughed out loud. Geriatric? Me? Thankfully, even the doctors admit this label is outdated. It simply means I’m 35 or older and pregnant – a pretty common scenario these days. Nearly 1 in 5 pregnant women is now 35 or older, and most have healthy, uneventful pregnancies. Still, being an older mom-to-be has brought some noticeable differences. Here’s my first-hand account of how my second pregnancy compares to my first, from energy levels and medical care to mindset to physical symptoms and emotions.
Energy Levels: Chasing an Elementary Schooler vs. Napping the First Time
In my first pregnancy, I could rest whenever I felt the slightest twinge of fatigue. Back then, an indulgent weekend nap was no problem. Now, with a kid bouncing around, rest is a luxury I often can’t afford. By 8 PM, I’m as exhausted as if I’d run a marathon (and I basically have, I’m growing a human). I find myself more fatigued during this second pregnancy, and I’m not alone in that. Many moms say they feel more tired than ever when pregnant in their 30s – likely because by 35+, we have so many other responsibilities draining our energy. In my 20s, I had endless stamina; these days, between work, household duties, and my energetic little one, my energy tank hits empty faster.
Medical Care in My Second Pregnancy After 35
Another big difference I noticed is the prenatal care and medical attention. With my first pregnancy, my prenatal visits were routine – monthly check-ups, the usual ultrasounds, nothing out of the ordinary. This time around, the care team is monitoring me a bit more closely. For starters, at my very first appointment, my OB discussed additional screening tests because of my age. At 10 weeks, a non-invasive prenatal test (NIPT) can be offered – a blood test that checks for genetic conditions like Down syndrome. Many providers now recommend genetic screening for moms over 35, whereas it’s just optional for younger moms. It’s all about having more information and being prepared.
They even had me do the glucose test for gestational diabetes earlier than I did last time. All of this extra monitoring might sound scary, but I’ve come to see it as proactive care.
So if you find yourself labeled high-risk simply due to age, remember: it’s usually caution, not cause for alarm. Go to all your appointments, enjoy those extra peeks at your baby on the ultrasound, and ask all the questions you need. The goal is to keep both mom and baby healthy, and I’m grateful for the thorough care.
Mindset: From First-Time Jitters to Advanced Maternal Age Confidence
My mindset during this second pregnancy has evolved in surprising ways. As a first-time mom, I was the textbook researcher – I devoured pregnancy books, Googled every symptom at 2 AM, and fretted over how to be a good mom. Now, with years of motherhood under my belt, I feel a new sense of confidence and perspective. I won’t say I know everything (every child and pregnancy is different!), but I’m far less inclined to sweat the small stuff. The experience of having done this before means I trust my body more. I know what real labor feels like versus Braxton Hicks. I know newborns don’t need every gadget on the market. This time, I’m not obsessing over making the “perfect” perperation or birthing plan. I have a plan, sure – but I also know things can change, and that’s okay.
Studies even show that women who have children after 35 tend to be very happy and may experience motherhood with more emotional maturity. I can relate to that. I feel more emotionally prepared and patient now. The late-night diaper blowouts and the endless feedings that felt overwhelming before – I know now that I can handle them, and that that phase passes quicker than you think.
Of course, being an experienced mom doesn’t mean I have zero anxiety. I still have moments of worry. But overall, my mindset is more balanced. I’ve embraced the mantra: “I’ve got this, and when I don’t, I know where to ask for help.” There’s a certain calm that comes with age and experience.
Body and Physical Symptoms: How Pregnancy Over 35 Feels Different
Oh, the joys of the pregnant body – how they change the second time around! One of the first physical differences many non-first-time moms notice is showing earlier than before. There’s a good reason for this: abdominal muscles remember the last pregnancy. They’ve stretched before, so they’re a bit less taut now and “give” more quickly.
Along with showing sooner, I’ve encountered some aches and pains earlier as well. The mild backache I used to get in the third trimester? This time, it was visited in the second trimester. And the familiar twinge of round ligament pain (that sharp pulling sensation when you move too fast) has made itself a regular guest. It turns out this is common for second-time moms. As one midwife explains, those supportive ligaments and muscles have loosened a bit from the first go-around, so they don’t hold up the growing uterus quite as snugly as before – meaning more aches and pressure earlier on.
I’ve also started thinking about postpartum recovery more this time. Perhaps because I’m older (and wiser?), I know I’ll need to give myself grace to heal.
Supporting Other Moms at Every Age and Stage
No matter when you embark on the journey of motherhood, every stage has its challenges and its beauty. As someone who’s now experienced pregnancy as a younger mom and as an older mom, I have a few takeaways and words of encouragement I’d love to share:
1. Embrace Your Journey (Ignore the Labels): Don’t let terms like geriatric pregnancy freak you out. It’s a clinical term, not a reflection of how vibrant or capable you are. The fact is, women are having healthy babies well into their late 30s and 40s these days. You’re just the right age for your family’s timeline.
2. Prioritize Self-Care and Rest: Especially for second-time and older moms, self-care isn’t selfish – it’s necessary. Take the nap, postpone the chores, and ask for help. I’ve learned that you can’t pour from an empty cup. By taking care of your health and energy, you’re doing the best thing for your baby and your family.
3. Stay Informed, Not Overwhelmed: Yes, there might be extra tests or precautions when you’re pregnant over 35. Stay informed about what’s recommended – knowledge can ease your anxiety. But try not to let information overload steal your joy. Trust your medical team, and don’t be afraid to call them if something is worrying you. They’re there to support you, especially in an AMA pregnancy where they expect you’ll have questions.
4. Lean on Your Support Network: One wonderful thing about being a bit older is that you might have a bigger community around you. From friends, family, or even older kids who can fetch you a glass of water – accept their support. Connecting with other moms who are in a similar stage can provide comfort and practical tips. Sometimes just hearing “I get it, I’ve been there” is all you need to feel seen and understood.
5. Celebrate the Positives: There are real positives to a second pregnancy or a pregnancy later in life. You’re likely more confident in who you are. You have the benefit of hindsight (“Okay, buying a wipes warmer was unnecessary last time!”). And emotionally, you might find yourself happier and more content in this journey. Celebrate those aspects. Every pregnancy is a miracle, and experiencing it with a bit of extra wisdom can be truly special.
In the end, my journey from first-time mom to a “geriatric pregnancy” mom has taught me so much about flexibility, resilience, and the universality of motherhood. No matter our age, we all want the same thing: a healthy baby and to be the best mom we can be. If you’re navigating any sort of pregnancy, know that you’ve got this!
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