Thank You, Past Me: The Power of Looking Back with Grace

It’s that time of year when we’re all looking outward—toward holiday prep, school calendars, and who’s bringing what to Thanksgiving dinner. But in the spirit of gratitude, there’s one thank-you note that often gets forgotten: the one we owe to ourselves.

Yes, you read that right. Thank you, past me. Not because everything was perfect—but because she did her best with what she had. And that deserves some love.

When Did We Stop Giving Ourselves Credit?

As moms, we’re wired to think forward: What's for dinner? Did I RSVP to the class party? Is anyone even wearing socks right now? 

But rarely do we pause and look back with the same attention and kindness. It’s so easy to cringe at past decisions or replay moments we wish we’d handled differently. But here’s the truth: the version of you from last month, last year, six years ago—that woman carried the load that got you here.

She navigated sleepless nights, tantrums in Target, doctor’s appointments, and possibly even heartbreak or career detours. Maybe she made choices that weren't glamorous but were necessary. Maybe she dropped a ball or two. But she also showed up, again and again.

Grace Beats Guilt

This season, instead of mentally listing your parenting “failures” or how much further you should be, try this shift: replace guilt with grace.

Grace says, “That was hard, but you did it anyway.”
Grace says, “You didn’t have all the answers, but you kept going.”
Grace says, “You were learning, and that’s always enough.”

We tell our kids that mistakes are how they grow—why can’t we offer the same to ourselves?

The Tiny Wins That Mattered

You may not remember every decision or sacrifice, but you can probably spot a few:

• That night you meal-prepped while exhausted so that mornings would run smoother.
• Saying no to something shiny because you knew your family needed simplicity.
• Holding your boundary when it felt uncomfortable, but necessary.
• The time you played hide-and-seek, even though your to-do list was screaming.

These aren’t headline-worthy achievements. But they’re the small hinges that opened big doors. The little things you did added up to resilience, growth, and strength.

Dear Past Me: A Note of Gratitude

If you’ve never written to your past self, give it a try. You might start with something like:

“Thank you for being brave, even when no one saw it. Thank you for trusting your instincts when they were louder than logic. Thank you for surviving the hard seasons so I could enjoy this one. You were doing better than you thought. I’m proud of you.”

Customize and iterate on yours! This isn’t a one-time thing; we encourage you to do it again and again. This kind of reflection also isn’t indulgent—it’s healing. It gives us permission to stop chasing perfection and start recognizing the progress that’s already here.

How to Make “Thank You, Past Me” a Practice

Want to try weaving this mindset into everyday life? Here are a few mom-friendly ways to do it:

1. Start a Quick Gratitude Journal (Just for You)
Jot down one thing your past self did that helped you today. It could be as simple as “thank you for buying extra toilet paper” or “thank you for quitting that job.” Little notes of appreciation compound.

2. Practice Mirror Talk
While brushing your teeth or doing skincare, say something kind to your reflection. “You’ve been through a lot, and you’re still here. Thanks for not giving up.” Putting your hand on your chest while talking can also help you stay in the moment and really hear what you’re saying. 

3. Reflect Out Loud with Your Kids
Normalize growth by saying things like, “When I first became a mom, I didn’t know how to ______, but I’ve learned.” It models compassion and evolution.

4. Set a Weekly “Look Back” Alarm
Every Sunday night, reflect on one choice from the past that made your present smoother. Build the habit of self-gratitude.

Final Thoughts: Presence Starts with Perspective

We’re so quick to praise other parents, influencers, and Pinterest-worthy playrooms. But what if the person most deserving of your appreciation is... you? That version of you who stayed up late labeling school folders, cried in the car after a hard day, chose growth over comfort, or simply kept showing up.

This Thanksgiving—and every season after—take a moment to look back with grace. Let your inner voice sound more like a friend and less like a critic.

You’ve come a long way, even if the path was messy. And you’re still walking it.

So thank you, past me. You made today possible.

**Call to Action**

This week, take five quiet minutes and write a note to your past self. What did she do that you’re grateful for? How did she get you here? If you feel comfortable, share your note with us—we’d love to hear it.